Suicidal confessions

I cry myself to sleep every night,
i am tired of seeing them fight,
the noise keeps penetrating deep inside,
i wanna die or might soon commit suicide.

I scratched myself tonight,
coz the struggling pain was suffocating my sight,
their flew rivers of salt down my face,
how to hurt myself were thoughts at race.

When you haven't seen happiness much,
there is nothing you believe exists such.
Existence is forcefulness you breath with,
keep wondering is living worth the knit?

Blade is lying in wardrobe,
or hanging breathless on a rope,
jumping off a building flying,
if all failed it wont be much fun on bed rest lying?

'Get help' you would suggest,
i keep things to myself i would somehow digest,
i helped a thousand souls in all times,
i desperately wanna slit my throat and make 2 lines.

Getting stoned might be fun,
delusional but my mind will be on its run.
What mental state have i gained,
i hope life, i will not see you again!